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Stupid things you've done after leaving the pub.

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mate pretended to shoot his mams mynah bird with his air gun. It wasn't loaded but the air blast blew half it's feathers off !!
 
a mate was walking back from Windermere to Kendal after a night out, and walked back along railway line, (unelectrified!) got about 5 miles down the line and stopped for a ciggy, turned his back on the wind to light his ciggy and then carried on, straight back to Windermere:20:
 
i was rather inebreated, and a pal of mine said he had no money to donate to a charity that is close to my heart as my brother is affected
"cystic fibrosis", so in the pub, collection box in hand me and a few pals around went outside and covered his whole car, wheels and all in cf stickers.. the whole car, windows, tyres, the lot.. he donates regularly now!!

as each sticker went on, we ****ed ourselves....you had to be there!
 
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Spent 7 hours asleep in a great big bush of pampas grass in Jersey.

Tell the wife I love her, just to get a bit.............she always knows, and tells me to naff off.

Did a rather large technicolour yawn right up the window of a Chinese take away :yikes:

And more........
 
My mate kidnapped a duck from the local park, his wife found it tied to the kichen table!
 
Strumermans EX wife found over 100 dead rabbits in the bath next morning..that was funny....

OH!! and he fell down the back of a wardrobe after night out..pretending to be superman diving of the wardrobe into!! well they were naked , so guess the rest as to what he was doing but he had to smash the back out the wardrobe to escape...:lol:
 
And one night..i think it was a stag night ,a mate of ours rubbish on a car roof and went clubbing without wiping his butt.....:lol:
 
coming home in the front passenger seat of my car, wife driving thought it would be okay to roll the window down and puke up, we were doing 70-80mph and the 2 girls in the back, me and the wife were covered in the contents of my stomach about 12pints of fosters and a curry
 
Falling asleep on the train home was one of our downfalls. Newcastle-Darlington is usually 35 mins. but after a skinful you end up anywhere on the East Coast main line. The times I've ended up in York. The record goes to a lad who missed the staion 5 or six times, took him a day to get home!!
 
coming home in the front passenger seat of my car, wife driving thought it would be okay to roll the window down and puke up, we were doing 70-80mph and the 2 girls in the back, me and the wife were covered in the contents of my stomach about 12pints of fosters and a curry

Luvverly
 
worst thing is the beer googles ,never went to bed with an ugly girl but i certainly woke up with a few over the years
 
I was 14 and in the handball team, we won and all got bought a round, not used to it (still not!), had to go past my math+physics teacher's house I had a HUGE crush on and proceeded, with my equally drunk friend, to throw sweets through his open window... next day, in front of the whole class he said if he ever caught us throwing stones through his window again we'd be in trouble, at which my loyal friend replied 'but they were sweets, and she loves you!!' Great... juuuust great...
 
Sit there on a Friday and Saturday night / Morning.


































Listening to Dave & Daz ....donking :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :yikes: :lol: :lol:
 
Re: Stupid things you have done after the pub.

tried showing a mate how to do a parachute landing roll from first lift of scaffold that was outside pub we'd just been in.... broke both my ankles:mad2:

So you did'nt do it right then,😳better to demo from chair, hurts less and there is probably more after hours drinking to be had and only sore heads and missing eyebrows( not mine ) in the morning.:thumbsup:
 
one my of recent bad ones was in malia i drank a litre of smirnoff vodka then went out needless to say i didnt last long at about 10 o clock at night i threw up outside a resturant and the people who were eatin werent very pleased the amount of abuse i received was unreal but i found it hilarious an the same night i ended up sleepin in balcony next door i was woke up by this big fat bird i quickly shot over the balcony to my room

:lol:
 
A group of irish lads were in a bar in Spain and directly across from the bar, a wall was being built. When the local brickies nocked off for siesta the lads in the bar went across and built up the wall to full height. They then waited to see the looks on the faces of the locals, when they returned. I don't know who the joke was on.:mad2:
 
omg, just remembered this one!:yikes: Me and Mrs had been for a bevvy or two while I was on crutches (another broken leg!) anyway on the way back, Mrs had walked on ahead so I thought I'd take a shortcut through the graveyard, halfway up the path is an overhanging Yew tree... "Mrs is bound to come looking for me," I thought, " I know I'll prop my crutches against this gravestone and pull myself up this Yew and frighten her as she comes past!" I managed to get up the Yew... fell asleep in a crook of boughs, Mrs didn't come looking for me! So I lowered myself back down onto the cross shaped gravestone and then.... snap!:yikes: the flaming gravestone snapped in two!! I quickly gathered some flowers from a nearby recent internment and placed them round the desecrated gravestone, then hopped as fast as a peed up person on crutches could go!
 
omg, just remembered this one!:yikes: Me and Mrs had been for a bevvy or two while I was on crutches (another broken leg!) anyway on the way back, Mrs had walked on ahead so I thought I'd take a shortcut through the graveyard, halfway up the path is an overhanging Yew tree... "Mrs is bound to come looking for me," I thought, " I know I'll prop my crutches against this gravestone and pull myself up this Yew and frighten her as she comes past!" I managed to get up the Yew... fell asleep in a crook of boughs, Mrs didn't come looking for me! So I lowered myself back down onto the cross shaped gravestone and then.... snap!:yikes: the flaming gravestone snapped in two!! I quickly gathered some flowers from a nearby recent internment and placed them round the desecrated gravestone, then hopped as fast as a peed up person on crutches could go!
and you left some innocent glue sniffer to take the rap, shame on you.
 
Strumermans EX wife found over 100 dead rabbits in the bath next morning..that was funny....

OH!! and he fell down the back of a wardrobe after night out..pretending to be superman diving of the wardrobe into!! well they were naked , so guess the rest as to what he was doing but he had to smash the back out the wardrobe to escape...:lol:

for sum strange reason that wardrobe was never the same again:lol:
 
One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.😳
 
One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.😳

:lol::lol::lol: class
 
One night on leave I was staying at me mums. Came home after more than enough and hadn't pulled (I know weird or what!!) so I popped a naughty video in to the player sat on the sofa and started to make love to ones self.

Woke up about 8am trousers round me ankles tool in hand and mum was in the kitchen eating breakfast but she had kindly come in the lounge, ejected the video and put it on top of the tele.😳

😀 I had always wondered where your moniker "Love Machine" came from...now I know it was self-inflicted. :thumbsup::lol:
 
Re: Stupid things you have done after the pub.

You should always put some random numbers in the phone book first to make it near impossible to text when drunk, i've done the old drunken text with some better than expected results to be fair :lol:

I've also fallen asleep in my back garden before after giving up trying to get the key in the lock.

I never said anything at the time but when we went on the TF xmas bash last year i managed to bag a room to myself due to the odd number, after getting smashed and going for a curry we returned to the hotel and i fell asleep in the bathroom, i woke up with my toothbrush on the floor next to me, god only knows why i'd sat on the floor to clean my teeth. :dizzy2:

I had some quite funny pics on my phone aswell that i couldnt remember taking. :thumbsup:
OOOOH! You kept that quite Oli, and I let you drive me to the station too the next day........
 

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