They walk among us! - TilersForums.com

[CLAYS TILES]

Does make you wonder how kids are taught these days? And what? Hopefully won't be here when they're in charge of the economy!!!!






They Walk Among Us
I was at the checkout of my local Tesco's. The assistant rang up £16.64. I
gave her a £20 note. She gave me back £16.64. I gave the money back to her
and told her that she had made a mistake in MY favour. She became indignant
and informed me she was educated and knew what she was doing, and returned
the money again. I departed the store with the £16.64.


They Walk Among Us
I walked into a Dominoes Pizza with a buy-one-get-one-free coupon for a
regular pizza. I handed it to the girl and she looked over at a little
notice pinned to the menu that said 'buy-one-get one free.' 'They're already
buy-one-get-one-free,' she said, 'so I guess they're both free' She handed
me my free pizzas and I walked out the door.


They Walk Among Us!
One day I was walking down the local canal with some friends when one of
them shouted, 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said, 'Where'?


They Walk Among Us!
While looking at a house, my brother asked the Estate Agent which direction
was north = because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the East, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff.'


They Walk Among Us!!
I used to work in technical support for a European 24/7 call centre. One day
I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call centre was
open. I told him, 'The number you dialled is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a
week.' He responded, 'Is that European Standard time or Greenwich Mean
Time?' Wanting to end the call quickly, I said, 'Uh, yes.'


They Walk Among Us!
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat
belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the boot.


They Walk Among Us!
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area, so I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags had not turned up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, has your plane arrived yet?'


They Walk Among Us!
While I was waiting at the Dominoes (see above) I saw a blonde lady ordering
a small takeaway pizza. She appeared to be alone. The cook asked her if she
would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. She thought about it for some time
before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry
enough to eat 6.'


Yes, They Walk Among Us!


.......... and what's even more frightening is they Reproduce!

 

[Olz]

Good one mate..:lol::lol:

 

[CJ]

Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge,
he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying: 'Free to good
home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without
even one person looking twice at it. He eventually decided that people were
too un-trusting of this deal. It looked to good to be true, so he changed
the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it.*

*Caution... They Walk Among Us!*


*One day I was walking down the beach with some friends when someone
shouted....'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and
said...'where???'*

**They Walk among us!!*

***
While looking at a house, my brother asked the estate agent which direction
was north because, he explained, he didn't want the sun waking him up every
morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' When my brother
explained that the sun rises in the east, and has for sometime, she shook
her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with that stuff.' *

**They Walk Among Us!!*

****
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard
one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on
her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but 'didn't
think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'.*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!*

***
I told the girl at the steakhouse register that I wanted the half kilogram
sirloin. She informed me they only had an 500g sirloin. Not wanting to
make a scene, I told her I would take the 500g steak instead of the
half-kgr.*

**They walk among us! *

****
My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car it's designed to cut through a
seat belt if she gets trapped She keeps it in the boot...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!*

***
My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!*

***
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring
attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, 'Wouldn't the chain rip
out every time she turned her head?' I had to explain that a person's nose
and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is
turned...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!! *

***
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the
lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up.
She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional
and I was in good hands. 'Now,' she asked me, 'Has your plane arrived
yet?'...*

**They Walk Among Us!!!!!!!!*

***
While working at a pizza parlour I observed a man ordering a small pizza to
go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut
into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding.
'Just cut it into 4 pieces; I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6
pieces.*

**Yep, They Walk Among Us, too.!!!!!!!!*

*Sadly, not only do they walk among us, they also reproduce!!!!*

 

[Droopy]

My friends and I were on a Lager run and noticed that the cases were
discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier
multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount.... *

:lol:

but let's be honest, if him and his mate were on the ball themselves, they would have picked up another 8 cases

 

[GazTech]

A couple of years ago, I went in MacDonalds with £5 note and unknown change in pocket. I ordered the food and counted up and saw I was a penny shy. The spotty girl behind the counter who served me said " £5.84 please" I gave her £5.83 and apologised that I had dropped a penny between the till and the counter. She promptly pulled both tills out and hey presto to my luck a penny was there, She picked it up and said " Is this it ?"..:whatchutalkingabout...ffs I replied "no mine was really shiny, but will it do ?"
They are not payed to think....:lol::lol:

 

[Fekin]

Some funny ones :lol:

 

[CLAYS TILES]

Olympic's Stumbles

Here are the top nine comments made by NBC sports commentators, so far, during the Olympics that they would like to take back:
1. Weightlifting commentator: 'This is Gregorieva from Bulgaria . I saw her snatch this morning during her warm up and it was amazing.'
2. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'
3. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.'
4. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'
5. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again.'
6. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'
7. At the rowing medal ceremony: 'Ah, isn't that nice, the wife of the IOC president is hugging the cox of the British crew.'
8. Soccer commentator: 'Julian Dicks is everywhere. It's like they've got eleven Dicks on the field.'
9. Tennis commentator: 'One of the reasons Andy is playing so well is that, before the final round, his wife takes out his balls and kisses them... Oh my God, what have I just said?'

 

[White Room]

Good one Clays lol:lol::lol:

 

[LM Ceramics]

some good ons there:lol:

 

[Olz]

:rolleyes4: :rolleyes4: :rolleyes4: