Funny sayings..

[enduro]

As some of you guys know i have a machine that grinds out tree stumps, well the bloody thing broke down today on a job and as i was fixing it this old guy walked past me and said, IF ITS GOT AN ENGINE OR **** IT WILL ALWAYS BE TROUBLE.:lol: made me laugh

 

[CLAYS TILES]

class!:lol:

 

[enduro]

yeah it made me laugh the guy must of been in his eighties...Words of wisdom i think

 

[GazTech]

If at first you don't succeed,............ failure is probably your style

 

[DHTiling]

Lifes a ***** and then you marry one............... sssssshh i didn't say that....:lol:

 

[GazTech]

Lifes a ***** and then you marry one............... sssssshh i didn't say that....:lol:

LOL Dave you are so dead...pmsl:lol::lol:

 

[DHTiling]

LOL Dave you are so dead...pmsl:lol::lol:

I say it to her gaz and all i get is "first class" and don't forget it....

 

[mz30]

Your a right pair ,you three if ever i saw one

 

[Holohana]

You can only pis* with the coc* youve got!

 

[sWe]

One of my friends said the following after a major drinking binge a few years ago:

"You know it's time to quit the booze when you wake up in a ditch somewhere, caked in mud, without pants, with a left shoe on your right foot and only a sock on the other, and with your jacket pockets stuffed with what looks like the remains of a Big Mac with ALOT of extra ketchup..."

 

[hillhead]

I was on a floor on my knees one day when a woman said to me "say one for me when your down there" meaning a prayer,lol.

 

[CLAYS TILES]

Lifes a ***** and then you marry one............... sssssshh i didn't say that....:lol:

i said that loadsa times,but she comes back with
''you'd be lost without me''

probably right - no one else would of!!!!:lol:

 

[IvegotsTILE]

If you can pi** you can paint!

old people eh!

 

[CJ]

"If you fell in a bag of ****...........you'd come out sucking ya thump"



Confused


"Put him in a round room...........and tell him to **** in the corner"

 

[Yorkie]

One of my friends said the following after a major drinking binge a few years ago:

"You know it's time to quit the booze when you wake up in a ditch somewhere, caked in mud, without pants, with a left shoe on your right foot and only a sock on the other, and with your jacket pockets stuffed with what looks like the remains of a Big Mac with ALOT of extra ketchup..."

I think this sentence just summarises life

I have'nt laughed so hard in ages SWE , I can just imagine the scene now when your mate is reflecting on his night out out and spreading his wordly wisdom LMAO:lol:

 

[pjtiler]

the bloke i served my time with
always said to me

what the **** do want to be a tiler for
when you could be a muff divers lip wiper

i never understood it myself

 

[sWe]

I think this sentence just summarises life

I have'nt laughed so hard in ages SWE , I can just imagine the scene now when your mate is reflecting on his night out out and spreading his wordly wisdom LMAO:lol:

It does sound profound, doesn't it :lol:

 

[aejrd]

he was meant for the sheets....and, he was never f****d for

 

[TilingLogistics]

I own a boat which I continuously moan about the upkeep costs because they are never ending. You only have to look at it and you have to get your wallet out.

A guy once told me to stop moaning because in his opinion if it begins with F it costs loads of money. I looked at him quizzically and say what you on about? He says if it Flys, Floats or F**ks it costs a packet:lol:

Kev

 

[bearwithme]

i like " if your going to be a bear , be a grizzly!" and a rather jaded friend of mine constantly reminds the gang that " women are just snakes with ****". :hurray:

 

[sWe]

"women are just snakes with ****".

Women of the forums, no offence meant, but "I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die" is a good one along the same lines

 

[MrSpoon]

"if the river flows red, take the dirt track instead"

 

[CLAYS TILES]

Women of the forums, no offence meant, but "I don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die" is a good one along the same lines

good old chubby brown joke there swe!
ALL women are prostitutes,one way or the other they screw you out of your money!:lol:

 

[Woody123]

Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch to be sure.