The finish in hotels you are talking about is called a monolithic look. It is achieved by flood grouting the 1mm joints and then grinding, honing and repolishing with diamonds. Unsanded grout is more common in the USA than here but it is available in the UK from Mapei. It is used over sanded grout for tight joints on Marble for two reasons: Firstly there is less chance of variation when grouting because there is no grain/grit/silica in it so therefore you get the grout in more evenly and secondly when polishing the stone with diamonds there is no chance of getting grit under the diamonds and scratching the marble when you are honing or polishing however both sanded and unsanded are available as modified grouts and therefore flexible allowing some movement.
Having said all this it sounds as though from your description you have "Book Matched Marble" and if this is the case you would be better off leaving a 2mm joint to comply with BS and then grouting with an epoxy coloured grout to suit each part where it joins. Painstaking but effective. Furthermore, and finally you need to check the weight prior to fixing the marble to plasterboard (32Kg is the max weight reccommended including grout and adhesive) and if it is going in a shower area I would strongly still consider tanking the plasterboard prior to fixing and sealing the marble thoroughly after fitting.