Funniest/ Embarrassing Jobs - Tile Advice

[Qwerty]

What funny/ embarrassing (for you or customer) stories have any of you guys & girls got when on the job? I remember wivers having his fair share!

I've had a few over the years, but a recent visit to new customers for an ensuite bathroom & kitchen floor quote topped them all!

The customers were a same sex couple (lesbians) that were quite posh and not short of money! Both in their 40's and had a dog. Really friendly and chatty & ran through kitchen work with them before they then showed me the master bedroom & ensuite. Again, ran through this indetail with them whilst stood in the bedroom. At this point the dog ran in all excited holding a rubber toy in its mouth. Not the sort you would expect to find on the shelves of pets at home either! .......lets just say, this "toy" had two ends to it, was black, about 12" long and had pretend veins running along its length!
The problem was, before seeing what it actually was, I commented on how the dog was very excited about finding this toy. I could see the horror on their faces! We were all embarrassed by the situation, and if the ground could have swallowed us up there and then it would have been a blessing! Needless to say, they never contacted me back!!!!

So what have you got/ seen/ done!?

 

[White Room]

PMSL, talk about die on the spot...that was funny.

 

[On one]

Me and 1 female interior designer and 1 female customer standing(tightly packed) in a newly tiled walk in shower discussing what size of glass screen to be ordered and made(in 150mm increments)
So I say ''a few inches here or there won't make a difference''....they look at each other and start cracking up until the penny dropped and I realised what I had just said

 

[Ian]

In 8 years or so I've never really had any embarrassing moments to speak of, the odd pair of knickers on the bathroom floor when I've gone into the room in the morning.......until this year! 1st one in Feb, went to use the only working loo in the house and of course, the door wasn't locked and I walked in on the lady of the house with her briefs around her ankles, the rest of the day was awkward! About a month later exact same thing with a rather robust lady, that image will stay with me for the rest of my days! Needless to say, I'm one for knocking on doors nowadays!

 

[StevieBoy]

In 8 years or so I've never really had any embarrassing moments to speak of, the odd pair of knickers on the bathroom floor when I've gone into the room in the morning.......until this year! 1st one in Feb, went to use the only working loo in the house and of course, the door wasn't locked and I walked in on the lady of the house with her briefs around her ankles, the rest of the day was awkward! About a month later exact same thing with a rather robust lady, that image will stay with me for the rest of my days! Needless to say, I'm one for knocking on doors nowadays!

Ive had that one before.

Scarred for life

 

[Rizzle from the Portizzle]

well went to look at a job in chelsea big house rang the bell door opens .yes .i have come to look at the tiling and
give you a price .looks me up and down like a bit of sh3t the say in a very lofty tone are you going to take your boots .i look him in the eye and say in a very cool south london tone why is your carpet dirty .he went very red .its not what you say but the way you say it .dont get caught talking down to people .

 

[On one]

Just a few months ago I was doing a grout removal job on an ensuite shower for an elderly couple in there 70's. And as it was a south facing room on a particularly sunny day I decided early on to open the wooden sash windows to try and make it easier to work in.
Well all went well until I was finished tidying up,went close the sash window overlooking the enclosed garden, looked outside prior to shutting the window and there they both are......topless!
Believe you me there are some things you cannot unsee!

 

[Dave]

A job I was doing ( some will remember the poo covered bog ) in a terraced house with bathroom / toilet at the back of the house downstairs , I said to the customers if you need the toilet just ask , anyway , tiling away and I got a sense someone was behind me , looked around and no one , then through the frosted glass looking into the back yard , the old biddy lifts up her skirt and drops her knickers and proceeds to pee in the drain gulley under the window in the yard .....,,

 

[Italy]

Nothing ever happens to me strange?

 

[AD Ceramics]

Nothing happens like that to me but I have a very good electrician mate of mine who was doing a job at a customers house, after being there a couple of hours he was in the loft when he heard the woman shout up your dinner is on the table...... Off he goes to the kitchen....sat down and started tucking in to the lunch thinking it was a bit odd but nice of the lady to make his lunch without even asking him when all of a sudden this big burly bloke walks in the kitchen, sees my mate diving in to his lunch "what the f##k do you think you doing eating my food"
The woman's husband had been in bed after working a night shift but hadn't told my mate, wouldn't suppose me if she had told him and he wasn't paying attention.

 

[On one]

Just remembered this one.........
I was once doing some plastering work on a 200 or 300 yr old,4 storey stone built terraced house many moons ago. Well this one particular recessed door sized wall that was to be plastered was in a bit of a bad shape,so I started to fix some Expamet to the wall by drilling,plugging and screwing it. The problem was that quite a few of the holes felt like they had a cavity behind them,but then the masonry bit would tighten up again for some reason. But I carried on regardless and made fixing where I could until I could hear some muffled shouting and bagging on a wall.
Turns out I had been drilling in to next doors airing cupboard and the tightening up of the drill bit was her pillowcases getting flung round on the end of my drill bit!

Turns out the wall I was fixing the Expamet to,used to a doorway into another room of the same house hundreds of years ago,which was then bricked up with 9 by 1 and 1/2inch thick bricks on there sides....so very thin then

 

[AD Ceramics]

Just remembered this one.........
I was once doing some plastering work on a 200 or 300 yr old,4 storey stone built terraced house many moons ago. Well this one particular recessed door sized wall that was to be plastered was in a bit of a bad shape,so I started to fix some Expamet to the wall by drilling,plugging and screwing it. The problem was that quite a few of the holes felt like they had a cavity behind them,but then the masonry bit would tighten up again for some reason. But I carried on regardless and made fixing where I could until I could hear some muffled shouting and bagging on a wall.
Turns out I had been drilling in to next doors airing cupboard and the tightening up of the drill bit was her pillowcases getting flung round on the end of my drill bit!

Turns out the wall I was fixing the Expamet to,used to a doorway into another room of the same house hundreds of years ago,which was then bricked up with 9 by 1 and 1/2inch thick bricks on there sides....so very thin then

Ha ha funny how memories come back, must have been 25 years ago I was doing a bathroom in Guisley I think it was, the tiles were 6 X 6 johnsons and there was a sunked toilet roll holder and a sunken soap dish over the bath, I remember looking at the orientation of the room and thinking the soap dish was on an external wall, so I started with the drill stitching out the block/brick and when the drill went easy thinking I was hitting the cavity......until the old gent came in really apologetic asking me to come and look in the next room......argh!!!!!!! About 30 holes right in the middle of the wall just above a desk. Cost me a decorator and a roll of wallpaper to put right, the guy still gave me a tip saying anybody could have made that mistake. Oops.