Joke - Tile Advice

[DEN]

Santa’s Reindeer are girls and here’s the proof:
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer, each year male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to every historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer,every single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen . . . had to be a girl!
We should’ve known. Only women would be able to drag a fatman in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night, and not get lost!

 

[Deleted member 9966]

:lol::lol::lol: nice one Den :hurray:

 

[hillhead]

Why do women get all the hard jobs??lol,
So rudolph not male then?? that'll not wash

 

[mikethetile]

only a woman would want to drag a fatman in a red suit around the world

 

[cornish_crofter]

Hang about, Rudolph is supposed to "Guide the sleigh tonight" according to the song.

Now, show me a woman that can map read please!

 

[White Room]

Sat navs are popular:smilewinkgrin:

 

[Gazebo]

Sat navs are popular:smilewinkgrin:

I have something similar to Sat nav,

Its called Sat Nag. (my wife in the passenger seat) :lol:

 

[cornish_crofter]

I wonder if you can get a version to mimmick the wife, GF, etc.

"Take the next turning on the left, no sorry.... that one, erm, now we're lost"

or, the classic favourite...

"You needed to take that turning that we've just gone past."

 

[DHTiling]

Bump!!..


:lol:

 

[DHTiling]

There once was an American Indian who had only one testicle, and whose given name was 'Onestone.'
He hated that name and asked everyone not to call him Onestone. After years and years of torment, Onestone finally cracked and said, "If anyone calls me Onestone again I will kill them!"
The word got around and nobody called him that any more. Then one day a young woman named Blue Bird forgot and said, "Good morning, Onestone." He jumped up, grabbed her and took her deep into the forest where he made love to her all day and all night. He made love to her all the next day, until Blue Bird died from exhaustion.
The word got around that Onestone meant what he promised he would do. Years went by and no one dared call him by his given name until a woman named Yellow Bird returned to the village after being away.
Yellow Bird, who was Blue Bird's cousin, was overjoyed when she saw Onestone. She hugged him and said, "Good to see you, Onestone." Onestone grabbed her, took her deep into the forest, then he made love to her all day, made love to her all night, made love to her all the next day, made love to her all the next night, but Yellow Bird
wouldn't die! What is the moral of this story?????...........................

OH, Come on... take a guess!

Think about it...

(You're going to love this!)


And the moral is...












































You can't kill two birds with one stone!!

 

[Andy Allen]

taxi for dave......lol

 

[DTile]

Another native American one..

A young Apache lad told his dad he was fed up being teased about his name at school.
"Why didn't you just call me Joe, David - any normal boy's name?"
His father sighed, then explained:
"We Apaches have an age old tradition. When a child is conceived, the name is decided by the first thing the parents behold afterwards. So, your older brother is called Running Bull, because he was conceived on the great plains, and at dawn next morning we saw a great herd of buffalo when we awoke.
We were on the shore of the great lake the night your sister was made, so she was named Still Water.
Now, run along and never feel embarrassed that you have a proper Apache name, Broken Rubber!"

 

[Dan]

^ heard that one years ago and nice to hear it again I'll try to remember it this time.