HMRC - Don't you just love them?

[andy8758]

To verify a sub-contractor......

1. Go online, get referred to a telephone helpline.
2. Wait 38 minutes to speak to an advisor, read some threads on Facebook.
3. Be told they don't deal with your enquiry.
4. Get a new helpline phone number.
5. Be told on the new helpline that you have to listen to help advice before speaking to an advisor.
6. Select wrong menu option, and get cut off.
7. Re-dial and listen to another menu option, giving advice you already read online.
8. Wait for another advisor.
9. Post a couple of messages on Tilers Forum to help pass the time.
10. After another 12 minutes speak to an advisor who tells you that you have to amend your registration first on another helpline.
11. Phone another (third) helpline. Wait another 29 minutes, being repeatedly told by recorded message that it is better to go back to step 1.
12. Speak to advisor who records amendment to CIS.
13. Now wait 72 hours, and go back to step 5........

 

[Ajax123]

they're a nightmare.

 

[Dave]

Oh we all love the tax man lol lol ...

I've moved it to the arms , should get a few good laugh responses. Lol

 

[Qwerty]

You're best mates with HMRC then @andy8758 ?

 

[andy8758]

Yeah. Me and HMRC go back to the 70's. But you know how it is with "mates" never give them money cos its never enough. And HMRC is one of those mates who is always nice to your face. Soon as your back is turned they whack out a penalty notice......

 

[Dan]

Had a VAT and tax inspection at the start of the year and they owed me money.

Loved them that month.

Should have seen the change of tune mwahahahaaa go fish.

 

[WetSaw]

You don't know how lucky you are, you should try the taxman over here!

 

[andy8758]

I think the only people who really support HMRC are politicians looking to fund their latest hair brained initiative.

PDC - there has to be downsides to living in a glorious climate my wife and I count the days till we next return to Malaga. October. But I am a realist, I know I have to tile in the UK to make enough money to fund the holidays, even when it means working weekends as well as weekdays to earn enough.

 

[WetSaw]

I earn less and I'm working longer than I ever have but, as you say, there has to be a downside to living here!

 

[WetSaw]

living in a glorious climate

Rather ironic that I've just had to pack up painting outside because it's started raining!

 

[Dan]

Rather ironic that I've just had to pack up painting outside because it's started raining!

My phone just packed in because it's too hot here. Lol

 

[andy8758]

Rather ironic that I've just had to pack up painting outside because it's started raining!

Lol! Rain in Spain is a little like standing under a warm shower in the UK! I have witnessed some very spectacular rain where the streets flood in minutes there. But it stops (in UK it tends to rain for weeks on end) and within an hour the ground is dry enough to sunbathe on again.

And we are just about to get the next wave of rain (well it is the school holidays here - rofl).

 

[WetSaw]

I did live in the UK for 46 years.... The rain here in the summer is quite welcome to be honest but in the winter it's a different story.

 

[WetSaw]

The trouble with summer rain is it brings the Sahara sand with it!

 

[andy8758]

The Spanish lifestyle attracts us as much as the mild climate. We often fancied living there, but.

We could not afford to spend a life sitting in bars and the recession there makes the UK look like it enjoyed a boom for the last 7 years. The summer heat is too much, air conditioning and shade essential - when we should be outdoors. We love the Spanish, but they don't always love us English as we swarm across the Bay of Biscay to invade Spain every year. And they respond to problems very directly - earlier this year we read a story of a politician in Malaga who upset her secretary who then shot her dead. Yes, the Spanish are lovely, but less so the Russians, the Costa Crime syndicates, the British holidaymakers, the Chinese beach masseurs, the endemic corruption of public officials, and local police on commission for the number of vehicle misdemeanours they can enforce.

But we keep coming back. The thought of dying like Cilla Black (RIP Chuck) collapsing on a sun terrace of your villa after a bit of sun and San Miguel appeals so much more than crippled and cowering in a cold room in England.

 

[WetSaw]

Crikey Andy, I thought I was a cynical bugger! I think you need to take off those rose tinted specs a bit more often as the UK also has more than it's share of wrong'uns 😉
I'm not one of those expats who thinks everything is great here and s##t in the UK but,for me, it's nothing like you painted it.
I've been here nearly 7 years now and I'm busier than ever. I don't believe the urban myths about police being on commission,probably started by expats getting stopped in their illegal UK cars...
This summer has been hot I'll give you that but you do become accustomed to it, anything under 20°c and I'm reaching for a jumper.

Maybe we can meet up when you're next over and you can buy me a beer

 

[andy8758]

Maybe we can meet up when you're next over and you can buy me a beer

Now that sounds like a great plan!