Weekend jokes

[user123]

There are 10 kinds of people in the world - those who understand binary and those who don't....

 

[sstilingservice]

Very tech MG

 

[user123]

There is a man who has three girlfriends, but he does not know which one to marry. So he decides to give each one £5000 and see how each of them spends it.

The first one goes out and gets a total makeover with the money. She gets new clothes, a new hairdo, manicure, pedicure, the works, and tells the man, "I spent the money so I could look pretty for you because I love you so much."

The second one went out and bought new golf clubs, a CD player, a television, and a stereo and gives them to the man. She says, "I bought these gifts for you with the money because I love you so much."

The third one takes the £5000 and invests it in the stock market, doubles her investment, returns the £5000 to the man and reinvests the rest. She says, "I am investing the rest of the money for our future because I love you so much."

The man thought long and hard about how each of the women spent the money and decided to marry the one with the biggest breasts.

 

[sstilingservice]

Yep that would have been my choice toooooooooooooo although I would not have taken £15000 to work it out

 

[user123]

Can you hear GRR's and me sigh and nod our heads in sisterly understanding?? Yes....slow resigned nods...
£15000? Were you thinking of 30(!!) women?? NAUGHTY!!!

 

[user123]

A great writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.

 

[user123]

Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?

She ran away from the ball.

 

[sstilingservice]

Can you hear GRR's and me sigh and nod our heads in sisterly understanding?? Yes....slow resigned nods...
£15000? Were you thinking of 30(!!) women?? NAUGHTY!!!

Nope 3 X £5000 = £15000

 

[user123]

I must be losing it! I could have sworn there was another zero... it WAS late....must be my new glasses I'm getting used to... add it as another joke...:lol:

 

[sstilingservice]

Yeah yeah yeah excusses excussesan and I thought my maths was bad. Here have a drink it will make it all better:8: