Going to tell you a story - Tile Advice

[Time's Ran Out]

I was asked by an Interior design company in Durham to do some splashback tiles on a job in Sunderland!
Well as you may be aware I'am Black & White and along with 52,000 other Geordies are living in the old second division this year.
Back to the story.
I turn up to this job in which is a rather nice 3 tier house and introduce myself. I get into the contract ( white metros under wall units etc.) and while setting out the window wall I notice all these Red & White stripe shirts lying in the mud in the rear garden!
'What's all that about ? I asked the Lady of the house '
Oh ! She replied, it's a bit of a rough area around here and someone broke into the back yard and stole all the clothes pegs!

 

[Qwerty]

 

[Andy Allen]

I thought it was a true story untill you said you tiled a Splashback ...

 

[White Room]

I thought it was a true story untill you said you tiled a Splashback ...

 

[John Benton]

Same with a lad I know who lives in Essex, he's a Scum (that red team from the wrong side of the hill) supporter and I use the term loosely. He was so disgusted at the appointment of David Moyes that he nailed his season ticket to his gatepost. Went out next morning and some cheeky bar steward had nicked the nail!!!

 

[Time's Ran Out]

GOING TO TELL YOU A STORY - 2

Newcastle have won 3 in a row and got rid of their so called 'best' players. Rafa only wants passionate players who put the same level of commitment into the team as the fans do.
So despite the embarrassment of having 'Wonka' on the shirts I took my grandson into my mates Mike's - Sports misdirect - shop to buy him his first Black and White shirt ( mine was a no.9 which I had signed by Malcom McDonald when I did his bathroom).
Well as per usual they were having a sale/offer. Buy any shirt and you got the chance of the full strip free if you could guess which of the 20 premier league teams was on the ball from a lucky dip blindfolded selection.
Young Jack put his blindfold on pulled a ball out, played keepy up a few times, bounced it on his head, and finally did the pressure test with his thumbs - Sunderland he shouted !
Amazed the assistant asked him how he knew - it's going down!!!

 

[Time's Ran Out]

 

[Time's Ran Out]

Going to tell you a story - 3
Two Mackems (sunderland folk) were walking down Northumberland Street in Newcastle (leads into one of the biggest shopping malls in Europe). They notice the sign in a shop window - coats £10, suits £5, shirts 2 for £4.
Thinking they could buy cheap, they would buy stock and take them back down to tracksuit town and sell them on their market stall. However their accents would be a give away, but putting on their best Geordie they went in!
Can we have 10 coats, 20 suits and 40 shirts Pet - they asked.
Your from sunderland aren't you?
How did you know.
Because this is a laundrette!