Alternative Royal wedding (on the cheap)

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diamondtiling

When Charles and Di got married in 81 it cost £30,000,000.
With the present economic climate it might have been better if Wills and Kate had opted for a cheaper venue at a more local place.

It might go like this..................

The 'Priest' is called Trevor but is not in actual fact a real priest, he just worked at the local Salvation army branch and once met Desmond Tutu at a charity night. He is known in his local pub as the 'Vicar' so he passes as an authoriative figure anyway. He also has a broad cockney accent.


'Dearly beloved, we are gavered ere in the function room of the Dog and Bottle (on the old Kent road) to celebrate the marriage of Prince Billiam an is new posh bird Kate Middleun'

Vicar 'Do you, Billiam, take this fit skinney bird to be yer lawful wedded bit of crumpet?'

Will. 'Yes, one does'

Vicar. 'Do you promise to love er, cherish er and forsaking all others never ave a bit of cor blimey with anuver bird?'

Will. 'Yes, one does'

Vicar. 'Do you promise to honour an protect er for eva and always stump up yer money on a Friday night before going to the boozer'

Will. 'Yes, one does'

Vicar 'Do you promise never to look at older women with maybe a Farah Fawsett hairstyle,big teeth, bannana boobs and maybe married to yer best friend and think 'cor blimey, she's alwite?'

Will. 'Yes, one does'

Vicar. 'Kate darlin, do you promise to love Prince Billiam who is very rich wiv lots ov ouses and stuff for eva and eva?'

Kate. 'Of course?, one would be a silly ninny not to, wouldn't one? I mean look at him, one day he will be King wont he? so that means I will be Queen which will be like, so cool, did you hear that Liz, push or get off the bleedin throne, theres a flamin queue here!'

Vicar. 'Do you promise not to attend any nancy boy polo tournaments and wink seductively at ginger army majors just cos they are hot and sweaty?'

Kate. 'Well, I cant promise but I will try.......'

(Vicar winks at Kate with a knowing smile because he was once ginger when he had hair and fancies his chances later on, that might be the whisky kicking in)

Vicar. 'I now pronounce you Man and Wife, you may kiss the bride.'


Will and Kate then leave for a week in Scarborough or maybe Tenby, total cost £500.00.

Now that would be the people's wedding wouldn't it, showing us how they can save our money in these hard times.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
:lol: They would be fools NOT to visit Scarborough... 🙂 especially my studio... ahem...
 

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